Thought I'd post the grad speech...

I saw one of my good friends today - Sonora. She went through the photography program at La Verne and took the same courses that I was required to take for my concentration so we became good friends. She and I spent many nights working, laughing and crying. 

We talked about my grad speech and she told me that one of our mutual friends live streamed it. It shouldn't sound out of the ordinary, but I haven't seen or heard from most of the people who I was friends with but graduated before me... this last semester was lonely. 

I never considered that some of these people would still care what I had to say. It's really nice to hear these sort of random people checking in to my life. It's not random, really, but it's a nice reminder that we're not as alone as we may think. 

I have a link for the speech. My dad also filmed it but it is focused on something right in front of him, so it's kind of hard to watch. In this one you don't get to hear the audience's reactions, but that's alright. It's not like they were rolling in the aisles, but a few chuckled. 

The introduction is from my adviser, professor, friend and mentor, Gary Colby. He is absolutely one of my favorite people, ever. If there is one person I credit my motivation and education to, it is him. 

Start at 1:17:30 or so...

http://livestream.com/starwayproductions/ulvwinter2016/videos/110982051

If that doesn't work, here's the Vimeo my dad took:

I guess that's it.

The search...

This might sound like a complaint post but I promise it's not.

I'm job searching almost everyday. The days - or parts of days - that I don't think about applications are a kind of self-preservation effort. I am just trying to keep my sanity. For example, my eyes were too dry and irritated to wear contacts for about three days last week because I was just staring at the screen all day. 

I think the most disheartening and exhausting thing about job hunting isn't the waiting around and talking with friends about whether or not I've been contacted for an interview, but how many jobs I have to pass up.

I don't apply to most jobs. Sometimes it's as simple as the job isn't in my field or I don't have an interest in pursuing that subsection of the industry. Or I don't have the training or education level for a position. 

The most heartbreaking are the ones that I can do the job description but I'm missing required qualifications, like "at least five years professional experience." I'm trying to get that experience and prove that I have passion and want to learn.

If I found 50 applications for jobs, fellowships or internships that I'm interested in and would hire someone of my experience-level if I were qualified - you bet I would apply until my eyeballs dried up. 

But... I know that magic list won't appear out of thin air. For now I will comb the job boards and emails while keeping my ear to the ground.

I am hopeful that I am qualified for something for which I have applied, but will keep working on my projects and bettering myself in the meantime.

There are other ways to get experience.

I have ideas for projects. They are about 50/50 photography and documentary pitches. But the biggest part of this for me is that for the first time I'm excited and inspired about random things in life. I have the freedom to explore the subjects that interest me. 

I'm also going to take classes and seminars to learn about other "stuff." I've been on this straight shot into photojournalism with some photography classes that study other techniques, but I think it would be good to learn about related skills like video or sound technology. I've signed up for a weekend seminar in April.

So even though I am still deep in the search, I am very thankful that I have this time to better myself.

Looking into the future

I have two days of school, and then freedom, indefinitely. I have chosen not to apply to grad programs, language teaching programs, or any of the other things I've considered or said I'd do upon graduation. I want to get out and work.

The option to go do anything is so exciting to me. I could be offered an international job and I could take it - I have no real, permanent strings attached here. No house, kids... I'm free. And I want to chase down every second if it. 

So if I passed my math class, I will be walking at the end if January. Grades don't come out for another 2+ weeks so I'm just going to have to suffer. It was really close, like the skin of my teeth, 50/50, pass/fail kind of close. I still don't know if the stuff I did until the midnight deadline is going to help me. 

I'm going to speak as if I have freedom in January. I want a job. I want a job that is going to make me work hard and challenge me. One that will be tough but have its rewards when I know I've been able to do something. I want to learn. I want to watch, but I want to do. 

I'm not sure what life has in store for me, but I want to find out as soon as possible and learn all the lessons out there for me.

I'm ready to move on.